Sister Gregory began her lesson by saying how hard this lesson was for her to pull together. She had read it and listened to it several times. She told of how she gave this lesson last November when they were talking about ministering in our Relief Society Councils, and she felt that she hit most of the points back then. When she was given the list of the lessons for the next little while and saw that today's lesson was again based on Sister Cordon's talk she realized that this is very important and that we need to focus on this again. But as she struggled to put this lesson together the thought came to her that "The adversary does not want this to happen. He doesn't want us to have strong families and he doesn't want us to have strong relationships with each other. He wants us to feel along and he wants us to feel discouraged. He wants us to feel like nobody cares and no one understands.
But it has been reaffirmed to her and to others in the Relief Society Presidency over the last few months as they have tried to figure out how to go forward with ministering in our ward, that this is critical. We need to know our sisters and we need to have relationships with them!
She talked about how our Savior several times asked Peter if he loved Him and Peter answered saying, "thou knowest that I love thee. Then our Savior said, "Feed my sheep."
Our Savior knew that he wasn't going to be by Peter's side all the time. He knew that he wasn't going to be by him and teach him how to minister, where to minister and who needed helped and how that needed to be done. Peter had to seek his own revelation to know which direction to go, and receive the inspiration he needed to feed Jesus' sheep and then to have the courage to go and do it. President Nelson offered us the same invitation last April in conference when home teaching and visiting teaching programs were changed to ministering. It puts more responsibility on us. There isn't a set message, there isn't a how you do it check list. We need to know what our sisters need and we need to follow through with it.
During that conference when ministering was introduced, President Nelson said basically there is going to be a change. Then Elder Holland got up and introduced the changes. Here is a part of what he said. "As He (Jesus Christ) prepared to leave His still-innocent and somewhat-confused little band of followers, He did not list a dozen administrative steps they had to take or hand them a fistful of reports to be filled out in triplicate. No, He summarized their task in one fundamental commandment: “Love one another; as I have loved you. … By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."
In Sister Cordon's talk she focused on three ways we can have the heart of a shepherd and be that person that can minister to Christ's sheep.
The first way to have a shepher's heart is to be known and numbered. She explained this to mean that numbering isn't only about just statistics or checking it off your list. To be known and numbered is to make sure that every sister knows the Saviors love by our service to them. This was the key to her talk to Sister Gregory. She then read a portion of Sister Cordon's talk.
I hope those to whom you minister will see you as a friend and realize that, in you, they have a champion and a confidant—someone who is aware of their circumstances and supports them in their hopes and aspirations. Then Sister Gregory said she would also add the trials and disappointments that we all face.
Sister Gregory then went on to say that as a presidency they have been focusing on this for the last several weeks. They have been trying to put this together and they really see this as a way to build lasting relationships with each other. So that every one in the ward has someone that they feel that they can call on at anytime for help. Someone to talk to, someone to do things with. Someone that they can call and say, "hey, something happened that is really cool." That they feel like they have this connection with someone. She then said, "If she herself doesn't have that kind of relationship with someone, she herself isn't going to call them. She isn't going to look up on LDS tools who her ministering sisters are so that she can ask them for help. If she has to do that, they don't have the relationship that is necessary in time of need."
She talked about several years ago before the ministering program was in place, her husband was gone on a scout camp with the young men, her parents were gone and there was really no one that she would normally turn to around. She was home with four children. She was going through their finances after she has put the children to bed because she has received a letter from the bank saying that their mortgage check had bounced. She knew she had deposited the funds for this and couldn't understand what had happened. So she spent several hours going over check registers and deposits trying to figure it out. Had she spent something and not noted it. At that time she said that 600 dollars could have been 60,000, they didn't have extra and she didn't know where she could get it. It was before online banking and so this was a long process. She was panicked and actually had a panic attack from this. She thought she was going crazy. She didn't know who to call or what to do because everyone was gone that she would normally call. Then she thought of Sister Ballard who was her visiting teacher and because they had the kind of relationship that was the kind where if you are in need you can call. Brother and Sister Ballard went to her home at 1 am and Brother Ballard gave her a blessing to help her. She was able to calm down and her mind cleared and she knew that the bank had deposited this money into her savings account instead of the checking account. She knew everything was going to be okay.
Because they had that relationship, she knew she could call Sister Ballard at anytime. She didn't know if Sister Ballard knew that it was a huge thing to her, but it was a very big deal.
Sister Gregory talked about another time that their family was ministered to was when her children were in a very bad car accident. She talks about this quite a bit, but this was such a life-changing thing for their family that the ministering that was given to them meant so much to them. A lot of the sisters in the ward know what happened, but her second and third children were in an accident where they were hospitalized for weeks and they had months of doctor visits, surgeries and therapy. The ministering that happened at this time of their lives will never be forgotten. One day they came home and there were hearts all over their house. On the hearts were different messages like "Your ward family loves you." To her that is what ministering is. We are a family and you look out for each other. Food was brought in. People helped move her children that took two to lift and move to get them ready for the day. A ramp was built in their garage. People came in and help her other children with homework and with her housework. It helped them with a burden that they could not do on their own.
The second way to have a heart of a shepherd is by watching over his sheep.
In Matthew 25:34-40 it says,
"34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."
Sister Cordon in her talk explained that the key word in these scriptures was saw. The righteous saw the need. Because they were watching and noticing they were able to help and fulfill that need because they saw it. They were aware of it and were looking for it. We have that same opportunity to see and look for those things that our sisters need. Whether it is comfort or to celebrate something with our sisters, or to just have someone to visit with. Sister Gregory went on to say that when she was younger and wasn't working and her children were little she loved having someone adult to talk to. She needed that.
Sister Cordon said, "Our sheep may be hurting, lost, or even willfully astray; as their shepherd, we can be among the first to see their need. We can listen and love without judgment and offer hope and help with the discerning guidance of the Holy Ghost."
Without the foundational relationships of true friendship we won't see, we won't know and we can't help.
We all have things that we struggle with in this life. Like Sister Gregory's children's car accident, it was easy to see the need there. It was easy to find ways to serve because there were so many obvious things that needed to be done. But, she goes on to say, more often than not there are things that we struggle with privately. Things that nobody else knows because they do not see them. But we have all been there. We all have things that are hard for us. The last couple of years have been a major trial for Sister Gregory. But with her family and the close friends that she has that she has been able to talk to, it has helped her bear the burdens that have come to her. Without that she doesn't know how she could have come this far.
She then had Sister Jensen read the quote, "Sisters and brothers, the world is more hope-filled and joyful because of the inspired acts of kindness you perform. As you seek the Lord’s direction on how to convey His love and see the needs of those to whom you minister, your eyes will be opened. Your sacred ministering assignment gives you the divine right to inspiration. You can seek that inspiration with confidence." (Sister Cordon)
Sister Gregory said she loves this part, the inspired acts of kindness. That we will get and we will know if we are looking and watching for these things.
The third thing to develop a shepherds heart~ is to gather them into the fold.
Regardless of where our ministering sisters are on the covenant path, we need to be willing to walk with them.
This comment reminded Sister Gregory of our Stake Conference when Elder Monk came. He drew out on a board in the leadership meeting 10 stick figures. He said that at one end you have the sisters or people that not matter what will never leave the fold. They have strong testimonies and they are dedicated. They are solid. Then you have people at the other end that are just starting out. We have people that we minister to that are all along this path and it is our job, wherever they are; at the beginning or at the end to help them to the next step without judging. Being their friend. They don't need someone preaching to them. They need someone to talk to someone who can help them get to that next step.
As Sister Gregory thought about this she said, "we are all at different stages of life. Some have little kids, Some have all of their children gone. Some are half and half, Some are taking on new challenges with parents or other family members. It might be that someone just needs someone to talk to. They might need a night out. They might need just someone to walk with them in the morning. They might just need a text during the day to know that someone is thinking of them. It can mean a lot and can go a long way just to know someone cares. In order to know what to do we need to have that relationship. To know what we can do to provide for their needs.
As she said, the presidency has been thinking about this a lot. She told of how in December they began to try and get interviews set up but everything kept falling through. They kept hitting road block after road block, brick wall after brick wall. Individually they knew it wasn't working or progressing how it was supposed to be. And things just happened that they had individual conversations with people and ideas came up and they started talking and things started falling into place about the direction they felt things needed to go. That there is a better way to build relationships. This is just a step in setting a foundation in building those relationships.
Sister Gregory told of how she talked to a sister that has been in this ward a long time and how that sister said she felt like a visitor when she comes because there are so many changes and new people and it doesn't feel like home to her. Sister Gregory gets that. Things here are changing. There are a lot of good people that are moving in and we need to build those relationships and build those friendships and a feeling of community so that no one feels like a visitor here.
She then pointed out the link that was sent out to the sisters to do the survey that they asked to be done for information about ministering. The presidency is trying to get this organized. So here is the link. This is where they need the information that they need so that they know who you need to minister to. They want to know where you feel called. It may be someone you are already ministering to. It may be someone that you feel like you need to know. It may be someone that you feel needs a friend. Whatever your reason is they would like to know who you feel called to minister to. Their hope is that by doing this those relationships will be there and that they will be solid. So that if anyone feels that they need anything, they have got 3 or 4 people that they wouldn't hesitate to call on and the same in return for those others, if they have a need.
Sister Gregory told of a couple of times in the past few months how she has gone out with some women that she felt just needed to get out and needed to talk and what a blessing it has been to both of them.
She said if you did not get the link or the survey, if it went to your Spam folder, be sure to go on and do the survey. Let them know how you want to be ministered to. They want this to work for everyone.
Elder Holland, when he introduced this program said, "The primary purpose in this ministering idea will be, as was said of the people in Alma’s day, to “watch over their people, and … nourish them with things pertaining to righteousness.” As the First Presidency counseled years ago, do the best you can. In addition to whatever schedule you establish for actual visits, that calendar can be supplemented with telephone calls, written notes, texts, emails, video chats, conversations at Church meetings, shared service projects, social activities, and a host of possibilities in the world of social media. However, I should stress that this expansive new view does not include the sorry statement I recently saw on an automobile bumper sticker. It read, “If I honk, you’ve been home taught.” Please, please, brethren (the sisters would never be guilty of that—I speak to the brethren of the Church), with these adjustments we want more care and concern, not less."
Sister Gregory went on to say that the interviews are still a part of the ministering because that is how the bishop gets the information that he needs to assist with members in the ward with needs or concerns.
Elder Holland said later in his talk, "we at Church headquarters don’t need to know how or where or when you make contact with your people; we just need to know and care that you do make it and that you bless them in every way you can."
He continued, "Brothers and sisters, we have a heaven-sent opportunity as an entire Church to demonstrate “pure religion … undefiled before God”—“to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light” and to “comfort those that stand in need of comfort,” to minister to the widows and the fatherless, the married and the single, the strong and the distraught, the downtrodden and the robust, the happy and the sad—in short, all of us, every one of us, because we all need to feel the warm hand of friendship and hear the firm declaration of faith. However, I warn you, a new name, new flexibility, and fewer reports won’t make an ounce of difference in our service unless we see this as an invitation to care for one another in a bold, new, holier way, as President Nelson has just said. As we lift our spiritual eyes toward living the law of love more universally, we pay tribute to the generations who have served that way for years."
Because there was still time left, Sister Gregory said, that just because something has been done a certain way in the past, there is nothing that says it still has to be done that way. If we need a new and better way in our ward to build those relationships then this is a first step.
Sister Jensen then told of how her journey began in October regarding this. She said that she had some very firm promptings and very firm direction that instructed her to listen for the coming months and to implement what she was prompted to do. She was distraught in her heart because when the prophet asked us to change to a higher and holier way, she felt like she was not sure how to do this or why it needed to happen, But she has a testimony that it does need to happen this way.
She thinks that the people that were ministering before are still ministering, but that the people that were struggling are still struggling. She didn't see a huge change. So she said they began to pray and they started having the discussions in the presidency meetings and instructions or promptings began to come to them as a presidency. One of the principals that they felt was part of this was agency. The principal that if people are going to rise in their stewardships that it needs to be our stewardships, we need to take responsibility for those stewardships. We need to choose in and choose it. Another thing that they felt was that those relationships need to be firm and built. However she (Sister Jensen) still felt trepidation as these new things came because change is difficult. She had a discussion with Sister Welling and it helped. This discussion lead to prayer and after those prayers it gave her insight and instead of trepidation it lead her to joy and excitement for what the Lord has in store for us as we take this little step in faith. She had the impression that as they build these groups of sisters, it will spread out into the ward in ways we can't understand to those who are struggling and help build them and help them to be strong. She went on to say that it has been an act of faith and a journey of faith for this presidency. She is really excited to see how it impacts our ward.
Sister Gregory said that one other thing that they have talked about also is that it doesn't mean that you don't continue to help those that you have been helping. Some of the people in our ward, this is just what they do. They minister all of the time. They are always helping people out. It isn't because it is a calling, it is just who they are. They see it and they just do it. We don't want this to stop. There will always be this kind of a need.
Then Sister Joan Richards raised her hand and told the room that the sister sitting next to her was a new sister in the ward. Her name is Amber Woods. She and her husband just bought Brother and Sister Miller's home. They have been remodeling and are happy to be in our ward and we are happy they are here. Sister Woods said they have already had people bring them food and that they are happy to be here.
Sister Bywater then talked about how Sister Gregory ministered to her mother when Sister Gregory was only about 14 years old. Sister Bywater's mother loved this relationship.
Sister White said that one of the things that kept sticking out to her is how Jamie Garn brought this up to the presidency. One of the things that they really wanted to emphasize is that they have been instructed to do this in a simple way - the Savior would have ministered in a simple way. So it will be one companionship ministering to another companionship. It will only be four sisters that will minister to each other. This will keep it simple. This is only a small step, but it is a step that will help lay the foundation to help create these relationships. It will help us do this ministering in a higher and holier way. If you need, please feel free to contact anyone in the presidency and discuss your concerns with them. This was not supposed to be just a name change, it is more than that. In our ward we felt that this is what it was and this is how we feel we can make a change in the way we minister.
Sister Clark said that it is hard to get out of our comfort zone. The missionaries challenged her to take this ministering to prayer to know who it is that she needs to serve. It doesn't need to be a whole week, but each day you can serve a certain person and the Lord will lead you to who you need to serve that day.
Sister Gregory agreed and then told of how Sister Cordon told in her talk a story of a man whose wife tried to commit suicide. It was a hard thing for him. Finally someone came to him and asked him how he was doing and asked those hard questions instead of just avoiding what had happened and they built a great relationship because this man was willing to ask those questions and really care about this other man.
That is what we need to do. Sometimes we need to get out of ourselves and minister in a way that it needs to be done and in the way the Lord prompts us to do.
Sister Miller also commented that sometimes when we go and minister we feel like we need to fix peoples problems. But sometimes all they need is for someone to listen. They can figure things out on their own, but when they can talk and have a sounding board it makes it a whole lot easier. They don't need someone to be judgmental, you don't have to give them advise, just being there for them is what they need.
Sister Phipps commented on how she liked at the first of the lesson how it was stated that we need to be a champion and a confidant and to encourage. She told of a visit that she had this week and she told her husband that she couldn't do that because she doesn't do drama and there was some going on. She then said, we aren't a solution society, we are just here to give RELIEF. A lot of times that means just being there for them. We don't have to solve, we champion, support, encourage and listen.
Sister Garn commented that sometimes we need to realize that we aren't the person that the other person needs. Maybe we are the person that actually needs to introduce them to the person that can help them. We are just a tool in Heavenly Father's hands to get them the help that they do need. We aren't supposed to be their fixer, but we can introduce them to who they need.
Sister Gregory agreed and said that we are answers to others prayers and maybe we might be the one with the connection to help them get what they need or want.
In ending Sister Gregory played part of Elder Holland's talk this past conference. It said, "We remember last April, when President Russell M. Nelson introduced the concept of ministering, he stressed that it was a way to keep the great commandments to love God and love each other.1 We, as officers of the Church, openly applaud and congratulate you on the tremendous response you have begun in that regard. We thank you for following our beloved prophet in this wonderful endeavor and suggest that you not wait for many more instructions. Just jump into the pool and swim. Head toward those in need. Don’t be immobilized wondering whether you should do the backstroke or the dog paddle. If we follow the basic principles that have been taught, stay aligned with priesthood keys, and seek the Holy Spirit to guide us, we cannot fail." he then thanked Sister Cordon for her inspired words.
What a wonderful reminder of what we as LDS women need to be doing and how we need to be serving. Please take a moment if you haven't already and do the survey to help our presidency know how they can better serve you in helping you in your ministering goals.
