RS Council Mtg - September 2018 (2)

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
*This Friday we need 4 more people to help clean the Temple.  It will be from 9pm to 12.
Also we need 1 more person to help with the cleaning of the Temple grounds from 8 am to 12 pm.
*We have the opportunity to feed the missionaries on Oct 19 & 20th.  Please contact Pat Alison to help with that.

* October 6th @ 6 pm all sisters 8 yrs old and up are invited to the Women's session of conference at the Stake Center.  Refreshments will be served.

*Oct 16th - Ward Chili Cook-off Carnival at the Church at 6 pm. (More info to come).

*Oct 16th - RS is in charge of the FHE at the Our House Assisted Living.  Please contact one of the RS presidency if you are willing to help.

*Oct 27th - Super Saturday.  Be sure to check out and sign up for the fun items to be made and the service opportunities.

*Nov 11 - The Primary Program.  Please plan to attend and be spiritually fed.

Bishop Kent has asked that we please go ministering with our companions!

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Today's discussion was lead by Sister Tammy Jensen.  It was based on how she was feeling when she watched the video on effective ministering.  You can see it here.  

In the video Elder Ballard stated, "The voice of caution, I would say is be very, very careful that we keep this simple.  We have a tendency in the church when we get something is to hold some meetings, and then putting a lot of things around it.  This doesn't need that!  All this needs is the Power of the Spirit of God.  All it needs is that we see who we are and what it is we are trying to do in a loving way.  Without putting program around the simplicity of understanding what it means to be a minister for the Lord Jesus Christ."

Sister Jensen wanted to focus on the first two things Elder Ballard stated.  She then asked the question, "How do we prepare to participate in bringing the power of the Spirit of God into our service?"

Sister Jensen said we need to be agents of change not only in our own lives, but also in our ward family.  She then began to tell a story of a friend of hers.

This friend was an active Latter-day Saint.  She had been married in the Temple and she had a successful business.  This sister found out that her husband had an addiction to pornography and it had gone beyond this, to the demise of her marriage.  This sister lost her Temple marriage, her business and her home.  But she was the kind of sister that tried to keep the spirit with her in all that she did.  

One day this sister went to the nursing home to visit her mother.  As she entered, she saw three nurses trying to control and help a combative resident.  Being who she was, this sister marched boldly down the hall to where the ruckus was going on and asked the nurses if she could pray for this resident.  She said that they were quick to bow their heads.  As they did, this sister prayed that the resident would remember that she was a child of God.  That she would have the spirit of peace to be with her and that she could be calmed.  After she said amen, she thanked the nurses and went back down the hall to help her mother who was also a resident that lived in this facility.  

The woman whom she had prayed for calmed and the nurses were able to assist her and get things accomplished.  They hadn't been able to do this prior to the prayer.  The nurses were so grateful to this sister for bringing the power of the Spirit into this situation.  Later that day as the sister who had prayed for the resident looked down the hall, she saw this sweet woman with a look of serenity  on her face smiling and enjoying the goings on around her.

As a relief society presidency Tammy and her counselors have thought about the prophets council and how to pull together as a ward.  Tammy has been so grateful for the feedback she has received on how the sisters are ministering to each other and how they as a presidency can support us in our ministering.  

The thought has come to Tammy so strongly that we need the power of the Spirit of God more.  This is the challenge that the brethren are giving us as a people.  

Sister Tammy then asked if any of us in the room had any thoughts, but then decided to read a quote from President Nelson to us first as it really touched her heart and she thought it was a wake up call to us. 

It stated, "Too many of our brothers and sisters do not fully understand the concept of priesthood power and authority.  They act as though they would rather satisfy their own selfish desires and  appetites than use the power of god to bless His children."

Tammy said that as she read this she felt a gentle correction in his words to us.  She asked herself, "Am I using the power of god to bless his children?"  She then said, we have been given such a gift.  The actual gospel of Jesus Christ has been given to us with covenants and all of the power that comes with it.  Then she asked herself, "Do I even know how?"  And if I'm not using the power is it because of selfish desires and appetites and how do I purify those desires before my Father in Heaven?"  She said the answers to these questions come from the Master Teacher himself.  She knows because she has seen that there are many in our ward that know how and have been able to use that power.  She then asked if any in the room would share their testimonies and examples of how they have used that power to bless His children.  

She said she thinks often of Sister Lana Coombs friend that reads the Book of Mormon on a daily basis but reads the whole book monthly cover-to-cover and the power that comes to her when she is speaking to others because of this gift.

Sister Tammy then opened it up for discussion and mentioned how this is a big topic.

Sister Merlyn Kent said that prayer is a big thing and that we need to make it an everyday thing, especially in the mornings to ask our Heavenly Father to bless us with the ability to have a listening ear and to listen to the Spirit as he tells us what to do and how to help others around us.  She said sometimes it comes when sitting on a lawnmower.  There are those ah-ha moments that hit us.  You will know what you need to go do.  

She gave the example of Sister Sambrano.  Sister Sambrano needed to move from her home and had been putting it off because it was so overwhelming to her.  She had found herself an apartment to go and live in and she had had it for a month, but just getting everything together and moving was a tough thing for her.  As she was sitting on her lawnmower about three weeks ago, the thought came to Sister Kent that they just needed to go and do it, to help her and get her settled so that she could find some peace.  When bishop Kent came home that night she told him.  Then Sister Tammy called and told him she also felt that they need to get this organized and with the help of other sisters in the ward they were able to get her packed.  The Elders quorum was able to move her the next week after the sisters had helped her.  Sister Kent was able to be with her while this happened.  It was all because of a prompting that came while she was listening while on her lawnmower.

Sister Tammy then asked if there was a time when someone had been served by someone else that couldn't have known their need, but that by listening to the Spirit they were able to help.

Sister Christina Smith told of a time when she had been served by Sister Ellis.  The story she told was that when her (Christina's) daughter was getting married she was so overwhelmed and had such anxiety because of all that she had to do and all that was going on in her life that the thought of going out and delivering the invitations was like the last straw.  She just couldn't bring herself to do it.  Sister Ellis dropped by and saw the invitations just sitting there and asked about them.  Christina told her that she needed to go out and deliver them.  Sister Ellis scooped them up and she delivered them for her.  It relieved Christina of a huge burden.  Sister Ellis was listening to the Spirit and served Christina.

Sister Lana Coombs then told of a few months ago shortly after she had her shoulder surgery.  She said that her basement had been flooded and she needed to clean it out.  She had a big weight machine that made it hard to get to things and she decided that she needed to disassemble and get it out of the basement.  This was at 10 o'clock at night.  She said it took her about 30 trips up the stairs one-handed carrying the pieces and parts.  She had it laying on her driveway the next morning when Sister Tammy Earl drove by on her way to work.  Tammy turned around and came back.  She told Lana that she felt that she needed to stop.  Sister Lana said that she thought that was interesting because she had been wondering how she was going to get everything into a truck or on a trailer because she couldn't lift them with only one arm.  She had said a prayer telling the Lord she had done all that she could, but she couldn't do anymore on her own.  Sister Earl told her that she would have her husband bring his trailer over and get it taken care of.  He came and within 5 minutes or so it was all taken care of and off of Lana's driveway.  Sister Lana told of how Tammy had been an answer to her prayers.  It was a big thing for Sister Lana!

Sister Jensen said she loved the simplicity of the story that sister Lana had shared.  She said that as a presidency they see the simple way sisters are out there doing what they have been asked to do.  They are seeking to serve.  This is a higher law that we are being asked to do.  Our hearts are more engaged.  

She then said, "I am wondering, are there any of you that are questioning or doubt that you even know how.   Do you know how to bring the power of God into your lives and into others lives?"

Sister Christina said, "I think we are all working on it. It is something that we are trying to get better at bringing the Spirit into our lives."  She said that through prayer and gratitude, she said she really has to keep gratitude in her heart and mind, then just going and doing as the Spirit prompts.  She said it is the little things that she thinks are good that she just does.  It is a process that she is striving to do.  She doesn't think she would raise her hand saying that she does or doesn't know how to do, because it is something we are working on all the time.  We are learning.

Sister Ashby said that she thinks that this ministering program is what is going to instill this way of thinking into our everyday thought process.  It is so different from the old way of visiting teaching.  Because of this we are thinking all through the month about those we are called to serve and promptings can come at anytime because our focus is different.  As that ability is developed in our minds we will learn to serve better.

She told of her mother and how she would just often stop by, but it was always when Sister Ashby needed help with her little children.  She would be having a really bad day and then all of a sudden there her mother would be at her door.  We as mothers can be inspired to serve even our own children.  

Then she told of her visiting teachers that came when she had been pregnant with her twins.  She said she couldn't even reach the sink because her stomach was so big.  She had to do her dishes sideways.  Well, one day her visiting teachers showed up and helped her get her dishes done even though they too were pregnant.  They could reach the sink and were able to help.  She said it was one of the nicest things that she has ever had happen to her.  Her twins are now adults and to this day it has meaning to her.

Sister Tammy Jensen then told of how her life has gotten unmanageable right now.  She is homeschooling and they are doing homework late at night and she told her husband that it is ridiculous how their life is right now.  Her husband agreed.  She had the thought that she needs the power of God to help them.   She then said, "I don't know how it is going to end, then she corrected herself and said, I do know how it is going to end.  It is going to be great!"  So she is fasting today for more power of God in their lives so that her family can overcome the craziness."

She then asked if anyone had thoughts about the trials they are facing right now.  Each of us have our trials.  Can you think of how you might bring the power of God into your lives more to help with these trials?

She then wanted to move on to the next part of Elder Ballard's talk.

Knowing who you are!  Sister Tammy said she was surprised that this is one of the important things in Elder Ballard's talk.  Sister Tammy then looked at Sister Lana who had been shaking her head.  She said, "this is not surprising to you, can you explain why?"

Sister Lana said that as she has taught school, she does an activity where she teaches the children about value.  She uses the 100 dollars bill analogy where she tears it up, but it is still worth 100 dollars.  She teaches them that they are worth more than gold.  They wear crowns around and they are silly and have fun.  But she said that when they write about it, they don't realize who they are.  She said that these are mostly Latter-day saint children.  She is surprised that they don't know their worth.

She told of how she wasn't going to do this activity any more and then one day she was in the grocery store and she was checking out and the girl cashiering asked, "do you still do the crowns?"  Lana answered her saying "Yes."  This young girl said to her, "That was the best day of my life!"  

Sister Lana said that they just don't realize who they are and this helps them.  She said she teaches them that they are a person of value.  It doesn't matter who you are or what you have done, you are of great value!  It is life changing to these kids.  She said that the kids wear their crowns all day and they wear them home and they are so proud when they have them on.  She can't say that they are a child of God because it is school, but just teaching them of their worth helps them incredibly.  And when people ask them why they are wearing a crown, they say it is because they are a person of value.  

She also said, "there are times when we as adults forget who we are. We need to validate others and remind them who they are and that they are of great worth regardless."  

Sister Jensen asked her how she would tie that into ministering.  Sister Lana said that she has a sister that she has visited for a long time and that is one of the messages that gets reiterated quite often and is a work in process for this sister.  She forgets what a wonderful person she is as do we all.  

Sister Phipps then said how much she likes the validation that we give each other.  She teaches special needs.  She had a child come into her class that wasn't special needs, but this child knew another girl in her class and so she just tagged along.  This child came from a broken home and had no Latter-day saint upbringing.  

Sister Phipps in her class hands out a paper that says "All about me."  On this paper you are supposed to write something special about yourself.  This child turned to Sister Phipps and in all sincerity said, "I don't have anything special about me."  Sister Phipps immediately said, "Oh yes you do.  You are a wonderful friend, especially to the little girl in my class."  Sister Phipps was able to validate her and tell her what special things she saw about her.   She said it is important that we know that we are of value and that there is something special about us!

Sister Randi Smith said she thinks that knowing who we are helps us to serve others.  Because we know our strengths and our weaknesses and are able to know what is in our comfort zone and what is out of our comfort zone.  Sometimes the Lord asks us to do things that we are not comfortable with but that is what the person you are serving needs at that time.  

She told of how she tries to ignore the promptings often because she doesn't bake and cook well, but she said, "If you know who you are you can serve the best you can."  It's important to know that you as a receiver of help are of value as well.  She said that it is hard for her to receive service.

Sister Tammy Jensen said, "I would love to hear how you serve." 

She then asked Randi what her biggest strength is.

Sister Smith said she thinks reading people is one of her talents.  She can tell when people she sees need something extra.  She said she is a great texter and a great friend.  Sister Marra said this is true.  They are good friends she told of how Sister Smith is always reaching out.

Sister Ashby said she really does think it is important validating each other, because we tend to not do that for ourselves.  She said that sometimes maybe we think we are good at something, but in reality we aren't.  So it is nice to have others tell you when they see you are good at something.  When they say, "You know that was amazing, or I saw you do this and such and it was wonderful, or your smile just made my day."  

We need to put ourselves out there and validate other people because it is so important.  Some people don't think they are of any value and that is a really sad place to be. When you see that going on in peoples lives it leads to so many problems, so when you see someone smiling ~ smile back and try to make their day.

Sister Lana said, "If you know who you are ~ You know who they are."  Sister Jensen answered with an Amen!  She said if you know this it just comes together.

Sister Merlyn said that sometimes we make it harder than it really is.  She said if you are at a grocery store and you see someone that needs help, lend that helping hand.  If a mom is having a hard time with her children help them out.  It is just a great way to live.  If someone were to offer her help, she said she would never turn it down.  She would say sure, come on and we'll do it together.  When we have that prompting just do it.

Sister Glori Alsop told of a student that she taught in art.  She said sometimes we just need to get ourselves out of the way and then serve others.  She told of a young man that was in one of her classes.  She said he was really a naughty boy.  She said he was really a cute kid and could have been a great leader, but he tended to lead kids the wrong way.  She couldn't get through to this young man.  She tried to be nice to him and he was awful back.  Then one day the Spirit spoke to her because she depended on it a lot as a teacher.  It prompted her to say to him, "You are afraid to be loved!"  He stopped what he was doing and looked at her like she had just read his diary.  It was true evidently, because it made all of the difference in the world.  From that time forward this young man was really nice and pleasant to be around.  She felt that it was because he knew she understood him.  It was that simple. 

Sister Tammy said she had a mentor at one time and he said that The truth is simple - It isn't easy but it is Simple.  She said that when we have the power of God with us it is just that simple.  What  people need is usually just words.

Sisters Ashby then told of an experience she knew of when she was teaching in the middle school.  She worked with a man who was a great band leader.  This man was not a small man by any means.  Anyway their school got a call from a Jr. High school in central Utah stating that they needed a band leader that wasn't small because the students had thrown the last leader out the window, literally.  

So they sent this man and he went down to this school.  When he entered into the principals office, the principal warned him that there was a young man in the band that was the instigator of the trouble.  Having this knowledge, this man went to the band room.  When the students were entering, he pulled this young man aside and told him that he had heard good things about him and wanted to make him the class president.  He said it was never the same again.  This young man stepped up and they had a wonderful year in band that year and then after.  It was amazing.  This man knew how to handle this young man through making him feel wonderful and giving him a positive identity.  

Sister Tammy then said, "I wonder if there are any in our room today that have identified with those feelings of not knowing who they are and not knowing your worth and your value.  I would asked that we pray for the knowledge of that and then watch for Heavenly Father's answers." His answers are everywhere.  

As a Relief Society presidency, Tammy and her counselors pray for us often and their greatest desire is for us to understand these two things in our families and in our own hearts and with the sisters whom we serve.  

We are grateful for the things we have discussed today and hope you all feel of our love.  

 

Ministering Attributes/Lessons

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

*Monday, Sept 24 - There will be a Red Cross blood donation at the Stake Center from 2 to 7:30 pm.

*Tuesday, Sept 25 - The Elders Quorum will be having a get together BBQ.  Hamburgers will be provided.  Please bring a salad and come have fun at 6:30 pm.  Adults only.

*Wednesday, Sept 26 - The YM/YW will be doing Baptisms and need to be at the Temple by 6.  Have them check with their adult leaders to see where they will be meeting and at what time.

* October 6th @ 6 pm all sisters 8 yrs old and up are invited to the Women's session of conference at the Stake Center.  Refreshments will be served.

*Oct 16th - Ward Chili Cookoff Carnival at the Church at 6 pm. (More info to come).

*Oct 16th - RS is in charge of the FHE at the Our House Assisted Living.  Please contact one of the RS presidency if you are willing to help.

*Oct 27th - Super Saturday.  Be sure to check out and sign up for the fun items to be made and the service opportunities.

*Nov 11 - The Primary Program.  Please plan to attend and be spiritually fed.

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Today's Relief Society lesson was based on four of the lessons that were in the Ensign regarding Ministering.  It was facilitated by Sister Louisa Joy.

Sister Joy had all of the sisters in the Relief Society room break up into 4 groups.  These groups were given a bag of hershey kisses as well as their talk and instructions.  One bag of kisses was dark chocolate, one white chocolate, one regular milk chocolate, and the last one had milk chocolate with nuts.

Each group was to discuss the talk and then summarize what they learned.  As each group discussed the talk they passed around the candy.

The first group talked and discussed the attribute of Listening to Love.  This lesson talked about the five things that good listeners do.  Here is the list that they were to discuss:

• Give them time:  Many people need time to gather their thoughts before speaking.  Give them time to think both before and after they say something.  Just because they are finished speaking doesn't mean they have said everything they need to.  Don't be afraid of silence.
• Pay attention:  We think faster than other speak.  Resist the temptation to jump to conclusions or to think ahead to what you'll say when they're through.  Instead, listen with the intent to understand.  Your response will be better because it will be informed by greater understanding.
• Clarify:  Don't be afraid to as questions that clarify something you didn't understand.  Clarifying reduces misunderstanding and show your interest in what is being said.
• Reflect:  Paraphrase what you heard and how you understand the other to feel.  This helps them to know if they have been understood and gives them an opportunity to clarify.
• Find common ground:  You might not agree with everything said, but agree with what you can with misrepresenting your own feelings.  Being agreeable can help defuse anxiety and defensiveness.  

This group liked parts of the quotes given by President Nelson and also Elder Holland.  

"Learn to listen, and listen to learn from one another." President Nelson

"If we listen with love, we won't need to wonder what to say. It will be given to us by the spirit."  Elder Holland.

In summary this group said that we need to communicate face-to-face and let others know that they are important.  

Technology is a blessing, but it is often a good thing to put our phones down and have a real conversation and get to know others.

The second group discussed the Reaching out in compassion attribute of ministering.  This lesson said, "Compassion is having an awareness of others' distress along with a desire to lighten or relieve it.  A covenant to follow the Savior is a covenant of compassion to "bear one another's burdens."  An assignment to watch over others in an opportunity to minister as the Lord would with: "compassion, making a difference."  The Lord commanded, "Shew mercy and compassions every man to his brother."

The Savior's Compassion   Compassion was a driving force in the Savior's ministry.  His compassion for His fellowman caused Him to reach out to those around Him on countless occasions.  Discerning people's needs and desires, He could bless them and teach them in ways that mattered most to them.  The Savior's desire to lift us above our distress led to the ultimate act of compassion:  His atonement for the sins and suffering of humankind.  

His capacity to respond to the needs of the people is something that we can strive for as we serve.  As we live righteously, and listen to the promptings of the Spirit, we will be inspired to reach out in meaningful ways.

Henry B. Eyering taught that the gift of the Holy Ghost helps us do so.  He said, "You are a covenant member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that is why you have a feeling to want to help a person struggling to move forward under a load of grief and difficulty.  You promised that you would help the Lord make their burdens light and be comforted.  You were given the power to help lighten those loads when you received the gift of the Holy Ghost."

Four of the suggestions given for developing compassion are: 

• Pray for it.  As you appeal to Heavenly Father, He will open your heart and "you will come to feel a sincere concern for the eternal welfare and happiness of other people".
• Practice it.  You can show compassion by listening to others and being understanding.  Put yourself in their circumstances and consider how they might feel.  If appropriate to the situation and timing, you could offer to help alleviate their pain, suffering, or distress.
• Follow promptings.  The Lord can reveal to us ways to show compassion that we might not have noticed on our own.  When you feel a nudge from the Spirit to help others, don't hesitate to act on it.
• Be a personal friend.  Showing compassion can be as simple as  showing genuine interest in people's lives.  Learn to listen well.  Your love for them will increase and it will be easier to recognize ways to show that love.

This group summarized their thoughts on these by saying:  

We need to do all of these things, but really We Just Need to Do It!  

Then sister Cheri Smith told of how yesterday she had gone to the Temple with her daughter.  On their way home, she was prompted to visit a sister that she isn't really close to, but one that she knew.  When the sister answered the door, she was in crisis mode.  Sister Cheri was able to listen to her and let her vent.  This sister then was able to figure out what she needed to do and the people she needed to contact to get things under control.  This sister was blessed by sister Smith following the promptings and then being a good listener. 

The third group discussed the attribute of Counseling about their needs.  The attributes discussed were:

• Counseling with Heavenly Father.  One of the central tenets of our faith is that Heavenly Father speaks to His children.  When we receive a new assignment to minister to someone, we should counsel with Heavenly Father in prayer, seeking insight and understanding into their needs and strengths.  That process of counseling through prayer should continue throughout our ministering assignment.
• Counseling with individuals and families.  How and when we approach the individuals and families we are called to serve may vary depending on the circumstances, but counseling directly with the individual or family is essential for building relationships and understanding their needs, including how they want to be helped.  Some questions may need to wait until a meaningful relationship has developed.  While there is no one right way to do that, consider the following:
• Find out how and when they prefer to be contacted.
• Learn about their interests and backgrounds.
• Come with suggestions for how you could help, and ask for their suggestions.
• As we build trust, consider discussing individual or family needs.  As questions as prompted by the Holy Ghost. (i.e. what are the challenges they are facing)
• What are their family and individual goals?
• How can we help them with their goals and challenges?
• What gospel ordinances are coming up in their lives?  How can we help them prepare?
• Remember to offer specific help, such as "Which night can we bring a meal to you this week?"  A vague offer like, "Let us know if there's anything we can do", is not very helpful.
• Counseling with our Companion.  Because you and your companion may not always be together when you interact with the individual or family, it is important to coordinate and counsel together as you seek inspiration as a companionship.  Here are some questions to consider:
• How and how often will you communicate with each other as a companionship?
• How can you each use your individual strengths to minister to family or individual needs?
• What things have you learned, what experiences have you had, and what promptings have you received since the last time you spoke about the individual or family?
• Counseling with Others Assigned.  It may be good from time to time to speak with others who are assigned to minister to the same individual or family that you are.

This group came to these conclusions:

Be in tune with the Spirit.

Get to know them and things about them.  The more information and knowledge you have about them, the easier it is to become friends by finding things you have in common.

Build trust.  Be prompted how you can help them and follow those promptings.  If you cannot go as a companionship at least one of you should go.

The fourth group discussed the attribute of building meaningful relationships.  In this talk it talked about the following:

The invitation to minister to others is an opportunity to build caring relationships with them - the kind of relationship that would make them comfortable asking for or accepting our help.  When we have made the effort to develop that kind of relationship, Got is able to change lives on both sides of the relationship.  

Sister Sharon Eubank, first counselor in the General Relief Society Presidency said, "I truly believe there is no significant change without significant relationships."  And for our acts of service to be transformational in the lives of others, she said, they must be "rooted in the sincere desire to heal and listen and cooperate and respect."  Meaningful relationships aren't tactics.  they are built on compassion, sincere efforts and "love unfeigned".

To build meaningful relationships this talks says we must:

• Spend time together.  A relationship takes time to develop.  Look for opportunities to maintain contact.  Studies show that letting people know you care is essential to healthy relationships.  Visit often with those you are called to serve.  Talk with them at church.  Use whatever additional means to make sense - such as email, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Skype, phone calls, or sending a card.

      Also remember that a relationship takes two.  You can offer love and friendship, but the relationship won't grow unless the offer is accepted and returned.  If the other individual seems unreceptive, don't force the relationship.  Give him or her time to see your sincere efforts and if necessary, counsel with your leaders about whether or not a meaningful relationship still seems like a possibility.

• Learn about them.  President Ezra Taft Benson taught, "You can't serve well those you don't know well."  He suggested knowing the names of each family member and being aware of important events such as birthdays, blessings, baptisms, and marriages.  This provides the opportunity to write a note or make a call to congratulate a family member on a special achievement or accomplishment. 
• Communicate with caring.  Building meaningful relationships requires us to go beyond the superficial.  Superficial communication is full of small talk about schedules, the weather, and other minor issues, but it doesn't include sharing the feelings, beliefs, goals, and concerns necessary to make more meaningful connections.  Heavenly Father has modeled this more meaningful kind of communication by sharing His feelings and plans with His Son and with us through His prophets.  By sharing day-to-day events and life's challenges with each other as guided by the Spirit, we gain appreciation for each other as we find common interests and shared experiences.
• Appreciate differences as well as commonalities.  To love other the way God loves us requires that we try to see others the way God sees them.  President Monson taught, "We must develop the capacity to see others not as they are at present bu as they may become.  "we can pray for help to see others the way God does.  As we treat others based on their potential for growth, they are likely to rise to the occasion."
• Serve them.  Be sensitive to the needs fo those you minister to and be willing to give of your time and talents, whether in time of need or just because you care.  You can be there to provide comfort, support, and needed help when there is an emergency, illness, or urgent situation.  Buy in too many relationships we are reactive.  God gave us agency so that we can act rather than be acted upon.  Just as the Apostle John taught that we love God because He first loved us, when others feel our genuine love through our acts of service, it can soften hearts and increase love and trust.  This creates an upward spiral of kind acts that can build relationships.  

This group summarized their feelings that to build relationships we need to:

• Spend time together.
• Use additional means, i.e. do other things besides a sit-down visit.
• Build friendships.
• Learn about them.
• Know each family member and important dates
• Go beyond superficial things.  Share deeper feelings.
• See others the way God sees them.
• Treat them like their potential to grow.
• Serve them and provide comfort.

Sister Joy then read the scripture, Mosiah 18:21, which says, "And he commanded them that there should be no contention one with another, but that they should look forward with one eye, having one faith and one baptism, having their hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another."

She said that this is her desire for all of us to be able to have the blessings of learning to minister in the way Heavenly Father would have us.

Springs Hollow Relief Society September 9, 2018

Opening Prayer: Tammy Ward
Announcements:

• Self Reliant Course is coming up- The Pinborough's are teaching it.  It has some great helps on budgeting amongst other things.
• New Baby- Kara Welling had a baby boy- They are naming him Gage.  They now have three girls and one boy.
• Ministering interviews were Tuesday.  If you didn't make it please call and touch basis with one of the presidency.
• Please visit your ministering sisters every month as the baseline- if you can.  Then add to that as you minister as their friend. Baseline is still every month at least one visit.
• Tammy Ward comment: She just visited Iceland and at a church meeting they were going over what they were doing for their ministering.  Each person had 7 or 8 families and they were really going all out.  Really serving the people they were over.  We have three or four sisters to visit let's make sure we know them and love them.
• Family History discovery day coming up September 22.
• We are putting together Chemo Kits on Tuesday.  We will also be sewing the port pillows.  Be sure to come.  If you are sewing bring a sewing machine with white thread and be there right at 6:00.
• Ward Choir:  Christina Smith is our new ward choir director.  We need new members.  Please give her your name and phone number to add to her choir texting group.  She will let you know when practises are.  We practise most Sunday's at 10:15.

Lesson:  Take the Holy Spirit as Your Guide by Elder Larry Y. Wilson  (Jamie Johnson)

First Jamie read the story about Elder Blair in the talk:  "During the Korean War, Ensign Frank Blair served on a troop transport ship stationed in Japan.6 The ship wasn’t large enough to have a formal chaplain, so the captain asked Brother Blair to be the ship’s informal chaplain, having observed that the young man was a person of faith and principle, highly respected by the whole crew.

Ensign Blair wrote: “Our ship was caught in a huge typhoon. The waves were about 45 feet [14 m] high. I was on watch … during which time one of our three engines stopped working and a crack in the centerline of the ship was reported. We had two remaining engines, one of which was only functioning at half power. We were in serious trouble.”

Ensign Blair finished his watch and was getting into bed when the captain knocked on his door. He asked, “Would you please pray for this ship?” Of course, Ensign Blair agreed to do so.

At that point, Ensign Blair could have simply prayed, “Heavenly Father, please bless our ship and keep us safe,” and then gone to bed. Instead, he prayed to know if there was something he could do to help ensure the safety of the ship. In response to Brother Blair’s prayer, the Holy Ghostprompted him to go to the bridge, speak with the captain, and learn more. He found that the captain was trying to determine how fast to run the ship’s remaining engines. Ensign Blair returned to his cabin to pray again.

He prayed, “What can I do to help address the problem with the engines?”

In response, the Holy Ghost whispered that he needed to walk around the ship and observe to gather more information. He again returned to the captain and asked for permission to walk around the deck. Then, with a lifeline tied around his waist, he went out into the storm.

Standing on the stern, he observed the giant propellers as they came out of the water when the ship crested a wave. Only one was working fully, and it was spinning very fast. After these observations, Ensign Blair once again prayed. The clear answer he received was that the remaining good engine was under too much strain and needed to be slowed down. So he returned to the captain and made that recommendation. The captain was surprised, telling him that the ship’s engineer had just suggested the opposite—that they increase the speed of the good engine in order to outrun the storm. Nevertheless, the captain chose to follow Ensign Blair’s suggestion and slowed the engine down. By dawn the ship was safely in calm waters.

Only two hours later, the good engine stopped working altogether. With half power in the remaining engine, the ship was able to limp into port.

The captain said to Ensign Blair, “If we had not slowed that engine when we did, we would have lost it in the middle of the storm.”

Without that engine, there would have been no way to steer. The ship would have overturned and been sunk. The captain thanked the young LDS officer and said he believed that following Ensign Blair’s spiritual impressions had saved the ship and its crew."

Question: What impressed you about this story?

• He exercised faith by asking what should I do?
• It was interesting the Captain went to him in the first place and asked a Young Ensign for advice.  They must have had a spiritual connection before this happened.
• This is a great formula-  a pattern on what to pray about.  Ask "What we can do?"
• This was not the first time he prayed for guidance.  He knew what to do. 
• He also went back to prayer multiple times- he was physically, and visually prompted.
• Good inspiration comes from good information.  He was given pieces at a time.  Not the whole puzzle at once. 
• He was worthy and obedient to be able to hear the Spirit.
• He was calm.  He could hear the Spirit.  He knew how to listen even when things were in a panic.

Question: How have you learned how to listen to the Spirit in your life"

• Tammy Ward: It is how we got here to Fielding.  We saw a home we really wanted it was our dream home.  We had started packing to move to this new home.  As we were packing my husband and I stopped and looked at each other and asked if we had prayed about this move.  Neither of us had.  So we committed to each other that we would go and pray about it and tell each other what we thought at the end of the day.  After praying Tammy felt like the Lord was scolding her all day long because she was not supposed to move into that house.  Her husband felt the same.  She didn't dare look at any other houses for about a year when she felt prompted to enter into the realty website exactly what she wanted in a house and this house close by Fielding came up.  It was more than they thought they could spend so they kept looking.  They went with a realtor to see a different house when the realtor showed them this exact house she had seen on line but discounted.  The house had gone down in price and they knew it was the one they wanted and where God wanted them to be so that is why they moved here.
• 
  
• The hardest part for me is not doubting.  Satan likes to tell me it was just my thoughts.  'Doubt not thy Confidence" Is what I think of when I doubt and then I move forward. 
• Merlynn Kent: We have to be spiritually self reliant.  Music can play a big part.  Answers come to me as I'm listening to music.  Peace will come to me and I will know I need to call someone.  We need to teach ourselves to listen.
• Jamie Johnson: Properly tuning our receivers to hearing God's word.  We need to really pay attention to the feelings you feel as you are listening to good music or reading your scriptures.
• Norene Rawlings: When we wanted to move back to Utah Don couldn't get a job.  I had a good job but we felt like we needed to move to Utah.  Then things started falling in place; Don found a good job in Utah, and my job opened up a good severance package.  But I really did not want to leave that job it was a great job.  One night I woke up and felt like I needed to write a negative - positive chart right away.  As I did this it was evident to me that we needed to move.  I got to work that day and the people who had lived in our house before said they wanted to buy it back.  But even with everything falling in place I worried about quitting my job.  And I would pray about it.  Every Time I prayed about it I received that sweet spirit that it was the right thing to do. 
• Lana Coombs: We can get answers to tiny things also.  When I was in Peru deciding what to put in my hiking pack.  I felt the Spirit whisper "put in an ace wrap". So I put in an ace wrap.  Up the trail a man came limping into our camp saying he needed an ace wrap.  I had one because I had listened to the Spirit. 
• Jamie Johnson: God can be there for the little things and the big things.  In the Doctrine and Covenants it says that it is not meet that I should command you in all things.  In the past I felt like this meant that I shouldn't pray over every little thing.  But in Conference Elder Wilson took it a different way.  He said the back ground of this scripture was Joseph Smith telling these men that they needed to receive their own revelation and not ask Joseph to receive the revelation they should be getting from God themselves.  The Lord is eager to give us revelation.  It is so different now; I feel the Lord is guiding me everyday because I am asking.  The Lord really want to answer our questions if we will ask.
• Glori Alsop: A man had an operation, he was not a religious man.  During the surgery he got a feeling of panic.  He wasn't unconscious but he couldn't feel anything.  During his panic a calm, peaceful feeling came through him.  He felt Jesus talking to him with peace and calm and he felt enveloped in God's love for him. The voice said, "You have done so many things in your life but you have not asked for help.  I am here to help you if you will but ask."
• Bonnie Ashby:  I was in Guatemala doing humanitarian things. It was time for us to go home but I got really sick.  I was in the bathroom all the time.  It was a long ride down the mountain on the bus to get home.  I asked for a blessing to be able to get on the bus and make it down the mountain with out being sick.  I was able to get off the mountain without getting sick.  But after I got off the mountain I was sick again.  I asked why I was sick again and my son said I got exactly what I had asked for to be well enough to get off the mountain.  I probably should have asked for more than that.
• Jamie Johnson: God wants to help us and answer us. 
• Jamie Garn: When I ask - Sometimes it is okay either way.  I had to learn to accept that sometimes either way will be okay.
• Jamie Johnson: Sometimes there isn't a right or a wrong.
• Terri Garn: Years ago after we had baby number 6 we were wondering if we were done having children or if we needed to have more.  After four months of praying and getting no answer a friend told me that I needed to make a decision and then ask God if it was right.  We made the decision then asked God-  We felt at peace - so we knew 6 kids was enough for us. 
• Jamie Johnson: The more we listen the clearer the answers come.  I know what Gods promptings feel like.  We can ask God.  He is so excited to answer us and glad we asked.  Some things we pray for just don't happen.  Some answers don't come till Heaven.  They are in God's time table.  God Loves You! 

Tammy Jensen: We are going to change a few things with our ministering people we see.  We are hoping to get you sisters to edify and uplift.  If we need to make changes let us know so we can learn to work as one. 

Closing Prayer

RS Council Mtg. September 2018

ANNOUNCEMENTS: 
~ September 4th:  Ministering Interviews.  Please contact Bonnie Ashby to sign up.
~ September 11th:  We will be putting together the Chemo Kits.  Please make sure to purchase items and bring them to share as we put these kits together.
~ September 27th is ward Temple Night.
~ October 20th:  Super Saturday meeting.  Further information is to come regarding what we will be making and doing.
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Today's council meeting was facilitated by Sister Jessica White.  

As Sister White began the discussion, she talked of how for the last couple of weeks she has sought what she felt that we needed to discuss.  She thought we needed to talk about how to pretect our families from media and pornography.  She found a resource here.  It is called Staying Safe Online.  It is a great resource to begin helping to keep our families safe online.  Sister White said that she feels that this in an important issue that many if not all of us need to be prepared for.  She feels it because she has children that are growing up and they are going to have to be prepared to be safe online.

The first thing she pointed out that we need to do is BE AWARE.  Then she asked, "How can we be more aware of what is going on in our homes?"  In the article it gives these suggestions:
Look for signs in yourself and those you love that an unsafe online interaction may be happening, such as: Increasing amounts of time spent alone online, especially at night. Participating in or finding evidence of pornographic images or sexual conversations in the computer’s history. Telephone calls to or from unrecognized phone numbers, often long-distance. Receiving letters or packages from unfamiliar persons or addresses. Tendency to hide digital screens or quickly close apps and websites when others are around. Withdrawing from family and friends. Requests for or sharing personal contact information online.

• Sister Pinborough said that they often want to watch movies with their grandchildren.  However, as they started to watch them they were aware that some of the advertisements weren't good.  So they decided that they would watch the movies before they watched them with their grandchildren to be aware of possible problems.
• Sister Calee Garn said, "We need to monitor unknown phone numbers that come in.  Sometimes they come to our children without our children looking for things.  There are predatory type people or websites out there and we need to be aware of them."
• Sister Smith said that sometimes when you have a conversation on the phone or computer, you become connected to predatory type advertising, etc without knowing it.  Then you are added to a list that is shared in those communities without having had anything to do with them.
• Sister Ashby said that she has had texts saying, "We know you have been to this website.  If you give us a thousand dollars we won't let others know, but if you don't we will."  She said it was a website that she had never been to.  She also talked about how damaging this might be to children that may have accidentally been to this website.  
• Sister Hatton said that she doesn't have children, but she does have younger siblings.  She suggested that we make a safe place for them, so that they feel that they can talk about things that might pop up on the internet.
• Sister Clark said that we need to teach our children from the time they are tiny.
• Sister Allen said that their family put their computer in a family area where people are.  She also said that they had a rule that at night no phones went to bedrooms.  She also said that it is okay to check search histories.  And if things keep popping up that are red flags and may make you question where someone has been searching, talk about it.
• Sister Andrea Stringham said that she used to work in a facility that was for young men that had committed sexual offenses.  She said that the common denominator with these young men was pornography.  She talked about how we need to have open conversations with our children about our bodies.  We need to let them know that these feelings are okay and why we have these feelings. 
• Sister Garn said that we need to teach our kids that they can come and talk to us.  We need to help them understand that they won't get in trouble because something has popped up.  Help them feel safe.
• Sister Ashby said that her grandson came home from a friend's house.  He told his mom what he had looked at and how he felt.  Her daughter called this other mother and asked if she was aware of what her boys had been looking at.  The other mother was not aware and by being made aware was able to talk to her sons.  

The next thing the article that our discussion was based on said that we need to, CONTROL YOUR SURROUNDINGS & BE ACCOUNTABLE.  Sister White thought about this and said that she feels that when our children have uplifting things in their homes and have an understanding of their Heavenly Father and His love for them, that they will have greater ability to handle these things that they are being subjected to.  The article that this discussion was based on said, "It is important to recognize things we can control. For example: Allowed trusted individuals access to review web and app history and downloads. Set mutually agreed upon guidelines for where, when, and how the Internet is accessed. Install filters and disable access to potentially harmful apps and programs. Use uplifting pictures, quotes, and reminders as home screens on electronic devices.  Avoid clicking on or downloading links or files from untrusted sources"

She then read a quote from Sister Linda S. Revees.  It said, "Filters are useful tools, but the greatest filter in the world, the only one that will ultimately work, is the personal internal filter that comes from a deep and abiding testimony of our Heavenly Father’s love and our Savior’s atoning sacrifice for each one of us."

• Sister Katie Hess said that our natural reaction is to protect our children.  She said, "would you send them out into a snow storm without protective clothing? Or would you send them to be out in the sunshine all day without protecting their skin? But do we do this each day when we are too busy to have family prayer or scripture study?"  She then said that she is afraid that when her children come to her she will freak out.  She said that we need to pray to be able to not freak out, because at some point it is going to happen.  We need to prepare them (our children).  She suggested that we make a plan of action that when it does happen they will know what to do when they see it.
• Sister Hatton said that when she and her siblings were young her mother taught them that when they were angry or something was bothering them that they could think of a hymn.  She wondered if this isn't something that might help our children.  That when they are exposed to something like porn to help them get the image out of their minds, think of a hymn.
• Sister Calee Garn said that we need to make sure that our children know when sex is appropriate and not be afraid to talk to them about it.
• Sister Peterson told of how when she was in the Young Women's as a leader, they gave each of the young women a picture of their Savior to hang in their lockers.  She told of how this helped them begin their day.  She said that she and her husband have a photo of Jesus next to their computer.  She said it helps you not want to look for inappropriate things.

The last point of our discussion was Develop internal defenses.  The article said, "Some examples of how we can do this are: Talk regularly and openly about potential online dangers. Develop a plan for responding to dangerous or inappropriate material. Increase understanding of and desire to use uplifting websites and apps. Continue frequent and regular activities in the home and online that invite the Spirit. We may never completely avoid the threats now inherent to Internet use, but we can do our best. And every effort, however small, may make all the difference! Decide for yourself and discuss with your family which of the suggestions above may be helpful for you."

• Sister Clark said, "Use appropriate names and language for body parts.  Let your children know they are loved and that they are never too far into pornography to be able to repent and be forgiven."

Some of the sisters in the Relief Society room commented on how they wished they knew more about technology and how to be more aware so that they could protect their children better.  It was suggested that perhaps at a later date we could have some training from others in our area that have experience with the technology protection side of this.  

As time was short our discussion was ended.  However, I feel that even though it was a topic that some don't like to talk about this was a very uplifting discussion and I really appreciated everyone that participated.  I feel that we can never be too protective of our children with what they are faced with in today's world.  

There were a couple of different resources that were discussed as being helpful for families.

• The first was a presentation given at the middle school each year by "Fight the New Drug".  This is held in February.  You can also see their posts on Facebook for more information. 
• The second is The Utah Coalition Against Pornography conference that is in Salt Lake City.  It will be held February 23, 2019 in the Salt Palace Convention Center.