*Monday, Sept 24 - There will be a Red Cross blood donation at the Stake Center from 2 to 7:30 pm.
*Tuesday, Sept 25 - The Elders Quorum will be having a get together BBQ. Hamburgers will be provided. Please bring a salad and come have fun at 6:30 pm. Adults only.
*Wednesday, Sept 26 - The YM/YW will be doing Baptisms and need to be at the Temple by 6. Have them check with their adult leaders to see where they will be meeting and at what time.
* October 6th @ 6 pm all sisters 8 yrs old and up are invited to the Women's session of conference at the Stake Center. Refreshments will be served.
*Oct 16th - Ward Chili Cookoff Carnival at the Church at 6 pm. (More info to come).
*Oct 16th - RS is in charge of the FHE at the Our House Assisted Living. Please contact one of the RS presidency if you are willing to help.
*Oct 27th - Super Saturday. Be sure to check out and sign up for the fun items to be made and the service opportunities.
*Nov 11 - The Primary Program. Please plan to attend and be spiritually fed.
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Today's Relief Society lesson was based on four of the lessons that were in the Ensign regarding Ministering. It was facilitated by Sister Louisa Joy.
Sister Joy had all of the sisters in the Relief Society room break up into 4 groups. These groups were given a bag of hershey kisses as well as their talk and instructions. One bag of kisses was dark chocolate, one white chocolate, one regular milk chocolate, and the last one had milk chocolate with nuts.
Each group was to discuss the talk and then summarize what they learned. As each group discussed the talk they passed around the candy.
The first group talked and discussed the attribute of Listening to Love. This lesson talked about the five things that good listeners do. Here is the list that they were to discuss:
- Give them time: Many people need time to gather their thoughts before speaking. Give them time to think both before and after they say something. Just because they are finished speaking doesn't mean they have said everything they need to. Don't be afraid of silence.
- Pay attention: We think faster than other speak. Resist the temptation to jump to conclusions or to think ahead to what you'll say when they're through. Instead, listen with the intent to understand. Your response will be better because it will be informed by greater understanding.
- Clarify: Don't be afraid to as questions that clarify something you didn't understand. Clarifying reduces misunderstanding and show your interest in what is being said.
- Reflect: Paraphrase what you heard and how you understand the other to feel. This helps them to know if they have been understood and gives them an opportunity to clarify.
- Find common ground: You might not agree with everything said, but agree with what you can with misrepresenting your own feelings. Being agreeable can help defuse anxiety and defensiveness.
This group liked parts of the quotes given by President Nelson and also Elder Holland.
"Learn to listen, and listen to learn from one another." President Nelson
"If we listen with love, we won't need to wonder what to say. It will be given to us by the spirit." Elder Holland.
In summary this group said that we need to communicate face-to-face and let others know that they are important.
Technology is a blessing, but it is often a good thing to put our phones down and have a real conversation and get to know others.
The second group discussed the Reaching out in compassion attribute of ministering. This lesson said, "Compassion is having an awareness of others' distress along with a desire to lighten or relieve it. A covenant to follow the Savior is a covenant of compassion to "bear one another's burdens." An assignment to watch over others in an opportunity to minister as the Lord would with: "compassion, making a difference." The Lord commanded, "Shew mercy and compassions every man to his brother."
The Savior's Compassion Compassion was a driving force in the Savior's ministry. His compassion for His fellowman caused Him to reach out to those around Him on countless occasions. Discerning people's needs and desires, He could bless them and teach them in ways that mattered most to them. The Savior's desire to lift us above our distress led to the ultimate act of compassion: His atonement for the sins and suffering of humankind.
His capacity to respond to the needs of the people is something that we can strive for as we serve. As we live righteously, and listen to the promptings of the Spirit, we will be inspired to reach out in meaningful ways.
Henry B. Eyering taught that the gift of the Holy Ghost helps us do so. He said, "You are a covenant member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, that is why you have a feeling to want to help a person struggling to move forward under a load of grief and difficulty. You promised that you would help the Lord make their burdens light and be comforted. You were given the power to help lighten those loads when you received the gift of the Holy Ghost."
Four of the suggestions given for developing compassion are:
- Pray for it. As you appeal to Heavenly Father, He will open your heart and "you will come to feel a sincere concern for the eternal welfare and happiness of other people".
- Practice it. You can show compassion by listening to others and being understanding. Put yourself in their circumstances and consider how they might feel. If appropriate to the situation and timing, you could offer to help alleviate their pain, suffering, or distress.
- Follow promptings. The Lord can reveal to us ways to show compassion that we might not have noticed on our own. When you feel a nudge from the Spirit to help others, don't hesitate to act on it.
- Be a personal friend. Showing compassion can be as simple as showing genuine interest in people's lives. Learn to listen well. Your love for them will increase and it will be easier to recognize ways to show that love.
This group summarized their thoughts on these by saying:
We need to do all of these things, but really We Just Need to Do It!
Then sister Cheri Smith told of how yesterday she had gone to the Temple with her daughter. On their way home, she was prompted to visit a sister that she isn't really close to, but one that she knew. When the sister answered the door, she was in crisis mode. Sister Cheri was able to listen to her and let her vent. This sister then was able to figure out what she needed to do and the people she needed to contact to get things under control. This sister was blessed by sister Smith following the promptings and then being a good listener.
The third group discussed the attribute of Counseling about their needs. The attributes discussed were:
- Counseling with Heavenly Father. One of the central tenets of our faith is that Heavenly Father speaks to His children. When we receive a new assignment to minister to someone, we should counsel with Heavenly Father in prayer, seeking insight and understanding into their needs and strengths. That process of counseling through prayer should continue throughout our ministering assignment.
- Counseling with individuals and families. How and when we approach the individuals and families we are called to serve may vary depending on the circumstances, but counseling directly with the individual or family is essential for building relationships and understanding their needs, including how they want to be helped. Some questions may need to wait until a meaningful relationship has developed. While there is no one right way to do that, consider the following:
- Find out how and when they prefer to be contacted.
- Learn about their interests and backgrounds.
- Come with suggestions for how you could help, and ask for their suggestions.
- As we build trust, consider discussing individual or family needs. As questions as prompted by the Holy Ghost. (i.e. what are the challenges they are facing)
- What are their family and individual goals?
- How can we help them with their goals and challenges?
- What gospel ordinances are coming up in their lives? How can we help them prepare?
- Remember to offer specific help, such as "Which night can we bring a meal to you this week?" A vague offer like, "Let us know if there's anything we can do", is not very helpful.
- Counseling with our Companion. Because you and your companion may not always be together when you interact with the individual or family, it is important to coordinate and counsel together as you seek inspiration as a companionship. Here are some questions to consider:
- How and how often will you communicate with each other as a companionship?
- How can you each use your individual strengths to minister to family or individual needs?
- What things have you learned, what experiences have you had, and what promptings have you received since the last time you spoke about the individual or family?
- Counseling with Others Assigned. It may be good from time to time to speak with others who are assigned to minister to the same individual or family that you are.
This group came to these conclusions:
Be in tune with the Spirit.
Get to know them and things about them. The more information and knowledge you have about them, the easier it is to become friends by finding things you have in common.
Build trust. Be prompted how you can help them and follow those promptings. If you cannot go as a companionship at least one of you should go.
The fourth group discussed the attribute of building meaningful relationships. In this talk it talked about the following:
The invitation to minister to others is an opportunity to build caring relationships with them - the kind of relationship that would make them comfortable asking for or accepting our help. When we have made the effort to develop that kind of relationship, Got is able to change lives on both sides of the relationship.
Sister Sharon Eubank, first counselor in the General Relief Society Presidency said, "I truly believe there is no significant change without significant relationships." And for our acts of service to be transformational in the lives of others, she said, they must be "rooted in the sincere desire to heal and listen and cooperate and respect." Meaningful relationships aren't tactics. they are built on compassion, sincere efforts and "love unfeigned".
To build meaningful relationships this talks says we must:
- Spend time together. A relationship takes time to develop. Look for opportunities to maintain contact. Studies show that letting people know you care is essential to healthy relationships. Visit often with those you are called to serve. Talk with them at church. Use whatever additional means to make sense - such as email, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Skype, phone calls, or sending a card.
Also remember that a relationship takes two. You can offer love and friendship, but the relationship won't grow unless the offer is accepted and returned. If the other individual seems unreceptive, don't force the relationship. Give him or her time to see your sincere efforts and if necessary, counsel with your leaders about whether or not a meaningful relationship still seems like a possibility.
- Learn about them. President Ezra Taft Benson taught, "You can't serve well those you don't know well." He suggested knowing the names of each family member and being aware of important events such as birthdays, blessings, baptisms, and marriages. This provides the opportunity to write a note or make a call to congratulate a family member on a special achievement or accomplishment.
- Communicate with caring. Building meaningful relationships requires us to go beyond the superficial. Superficial communication is full of small talk about schedules, the weather, and other minor issues, but it doesn't include sharing the feelings, beliefs, goals, and concerns necessary to make more meaningful connections. Heavenly Father has modeled this more meaningful kind of communication by sharing His feelings and plans with His Son and with us through His prophets. By sharing day-to-day events and life's challenges with each other as guided by the Spirit, we gain appreciation for each other as we find common interests and shared experiences.
- Appreciate differences as well as commonalities. To love other the way God loves us requires that we try to see others the way God sees them. President Monson taught, "We must develop the capacity to see others not as they are at present bu as they may become. "we can pray for help to see others the way God does. As we treat others based on their potential for growth, they are likely to rise to the occasion."
- Serve them. Be sensitive to the needs fo those you minister to and be willing to give of your time and talents, whether in time of need or just because you care. You can be there to provide comfort, support, and needed help when there is an emergency, illness, or urgent situation. Buy in too many relationships we are reactive. God gave us agency so that we can act rather than be acted upon. Just as the Apostle John taught that we love God because He first loved us, when others feel our genuine love through our acts of service, it can soften hearts and increase love and trust. This creates an upward spiral of kind acts that can build relationships.
This group summarized their feelings that to build relationships we need to:
- Spend time together.
- Use additional means, i.e. do other things besides a sit-down visit.
- Build friendships.
- Learn about them.
- Know each family member and important dates
- Go beyond superficial things. Share deeper feelings.
- See others the way God sees them.
- Treat them like their potential to grow.
- Serve them and provide comfort.
Sister Joy then read the scripture, Mosiah 18:21, which says, "And he commanded them that there should be no contention one with another, but that they should look forward with one eye, having one faith and one baptism, having their hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another."
She said that this is her desire for all of us to be able to have the blessings of learning to minister in the way Heavenly Father would have us.
