Women and Gospel Learning in the Home, President Eyering

Today's lesson and discussion was given by Sister Tammy Ward.  She began by talking about inviting the Spirit into our class today and how that will make a huge difference in what we take away from the talk given by President Eyering.

She then thanked the sisters in the room that had told her about a "Hi Mom" sticker that she had had on her back.  She remarked on what we see, what we say and what we do around our children really makes a difference in their lives.  She told how this last week she has been making sticky notes and putting them on her son's back letting him know how awesome he is and today was his day to pay her back by putting his note on her back.  Very cute!

This went along with our lesson today.  Our children see what we do and they copy it.  

She then began by asking us to read the part of Elder Eyering's talk that says, "Why, then, does a daughter of God in a united and equal relationship receive the primary responsibility to nourish with the most important nutrient all must receive, a knowledge of truth coming from heaven? As nearly as I can see, that has been the Lord’s way since families were created in this world.

For instance, it was Eve who received the knowledge that Adam needed to partake of the fruit of the tree of knowledge for them to keep all of God’s commandments and to form a family. I do not know why it came to Eve first, but Adam and Eve were perfectly united when the knowledge was poured out on Adam.

Another example of the Lord’s using the nurturing gifts of women is the way He strengthened the sons of Helaman. I get a lump in my throat when I read the account and remember my own mother’s quiet words of assurance as I left home for military service."

Sister Ward asked,  What did you learn from these three paragraphs? A sister answered, "Men and women are equal, but they have different responsibilities and duties, but it is all important to our Heavenly Father."  Another said it reaffirms that when a guy asks a girl to marry, they aren't thinking of children or anything down the road.  They are thinking what a great girl she is.  But when a girl is in that same situation, where a young man is asking her to marry, she is thinking of the family they will have and what their future will be.  In essence she sees more of the whole picture than the guy ever does. 

Tammy agreed and talked about how Heavenly Father gave women that nurturing gift.  Then she had us talk with the person next to us and had us go to the scriptures to find an example of a mother that taught through her nurturing gifts.  My partner and I talked about John the Baptist's mother.  

Then she had us talk to our partner about someone in our own lives that has had this affect on us and has really made a difference in our lives and share why this person made a difference in our lives.  

My partner talked about her grandmother.  She was a rock in her life.  Mine was a neighbor lady that was kind and always willing to be an example of Gospel living.

Then Tammy had a few sisters in the room share.  These are some of the things that were shared.  

Shauna Larson shared how her Mother-in-law was someone that made a real difference to her.  She told of how Rex's mom was alway willing to help her even when she had a lot of things to do, she would always help.  Shauna told of how she called her one day and asked for her help.  Shauna had a new baby and had been sick.  Her mother-in-law came and took care of her.  Four days later she died.  Shauna felt so lucky to have her as an example.

Anne Welling talked of her mother and what a wonderful example she was for Anne.  She told of how she was just a righteous example of how we need to live.

Amber Wood talked about her mom and what a strength she was to Amber.  She told of how she was recently able to talk to her mom about Faith and her mom' ability to change and remain strong even when things were difficult in her life.

Celeste Miller talked of her mother and how patient she was.  She said that when she was young she only ever remembered her mother yelling once in her whole life.  Her mother was always really kind.

Bonnie Clark talked of her grandmother.  Her grandmother was unable to talk or walk due to a physical ailment.  But Bonnie had the opportunity to have her live with them.  She said that her grandmother was so patient with others taking care of her and tolerant of their mistakes.  She taught Bonnie unconditional love.

Andrea Stringham talked about her grandmother also.  She told of many of the trials her grandmother has lived through in her life and they were hard and difficult things.  Andrea commented saying that her grandmother entailed everything that we had talked about, loving, kind, forgiving, patient and she endured.  She said this grandmother is the glue that holds their family together.

A sister commented saying, "How many of these people know how much you love and appreciate what they have done?" She said that we should take the opportunity to thank them for what they have done for us in our lives.  That it would make them feel special that they were able to touch someone's life.

Sister Ward challenged each of us to write them a thank you note or letter for what they have done.  Even if someone has passed away, take the time to write them.  They will know how you feel and what their actions meant to you.

Then Tammy told of the opportunity that she had this week to share thoughts about her Grandma Jeri with her children.  They had been in Idaho and so for two hours she was able to share with them stories of her grandmother as they drove home.  She told of how her grandmother was able to love her despite her faults.  She said that it was like her grandmother had a special pair of glasses that helped her to see others like Christ would see them.  Then she treated them how they would be treated by Him.  She was a very special person in Tammy's life and made such a difference to her.

We then read the next part of the lesson that said, "As daughters of God, you have an innate and great capacity to sense the needs of others and to love. That, in turn, makes you more susceptible to the whisperings of the Spirit. The Spirit can then guide what you think, what you say, and what you do to nurture people so the Lord may pour knowledge, truth, and courage upon them."  She reiterated that we can have the gifts of knowledge, truth and courage as we nurture.

We then read, "Your practical challenge is to know whom to nurture, how, and when. You need the Lord’s help. He knows others’ hearts, and He knows when they are ready to accept your nurturing. Your prayer of faith will be your key to success. He gave this encouragement: “Ask the Father in my name in faith, believing that you shall receive, and you shall have the Holy Ghost, which manifesteth all things which are expedient." She encouraged us to listen to this talk again and then she wanted us to really understand that we need Heavenly Father's help in this and He will help us be successful.  

Then she encouraged each of us to read our patriarchal blessings and note the Spiritual gifts that we are given in them.  She has recorded her's on her phone so she can listen to it when she needs.  She doesn't share it with others, but is able to listen when she is alone and needing it.

She said, "As you read these, I want you to be aware of the unique gifts you have as a woman."  She pointed to the board where she had written about the sisters that had been discussed and said, "you cannot see these attributes in others unless you have them in yourselves."  So be aware of the gifts that you have been given to help you nurture others.  She said that this is a way to honor what we are as women.  She then asked some of the women in the room to share the gifts that they have.  

One sister remarked on how she has the gift of patience.  Her children are now grown and have families, but when they were young she needed a lot of patience.  

Sister Gregory told of how as a presidency they did this at their presidency meeting a couple of weeks ago.  They read their patriarchal blessings and wrote down their spiritual gifts.  Then sister Jensen said that President Nelson said, "Know your Spiritual gifts and you will change the world." Sister Gregory then continued and said that as they were trying to put the ministering assignments together knowing their spiritual gifts enabled them to serve the sisters of our ward better.  

One of the sister shared how her children rely upon her spiritual gift of discernment.  She has been blessed to know when there might be a problem with something that they are going to do.  She has been given warnings and promptings for her children.  Her children refer to it as a "disturbance in the force."  They have helped her to see that she can receive inspiration for her children individually.  She believes that it is a way that Heavenly has blessed her children through her.

Another sister told of a time this last week when her son told her of a promotion that he was going to take.  She was a bit concerned and needfully so.  She got a call from his employer and her son had been injured in an accident.  Luckily he wasn't hurt critically, but it was enough that he needed medical attention.

We need to follow through on the spiritual promptings and use our gifts to nurture others.  Sister Ward then challenged us this week to be contemplative and ponder what you can do for your children.  She suggested praying specifically for each child by name and picture their faces before you as you pray for them.  She said that the Lord will let you know what they need.  She promised that He will give you knowledge, even if it seems like something so trivial as extra hugs.  He will give you the direction and guidance that is needed.  

Let your children know what you see in them.  Cheer them on and let them know the good that they are doing.  Be willing to ask their forgiveness for your shortcomings and let them know you are doing your best.

You sisters are all amazing and are doing such a wonderful job as mothers, sisters, teachers, neighbors and friends.  Thanks for all of your efforts to nurture and succor others.  

We'd like to thank Sister Ward for this lesson.  We were able to feel the Spirit and were encouraged to do better.  

Parents and Children by Dallin H. Oakes, Taught by Sister Jamie Johnson

The lesson today was taught by Sister Jamie Johnson.  She began by telling a story that she read.  It is a story that was told by President Monson.  

President Monson said he recalled an account of a little boy that came up to his father.  His father had just come home from work and was tired.  The little boy said, "Daddy, tell me a story" as he tugged on his fathers pant leg.  But you know and I know that we sometimes tell little Johnny as this father did; Johnny you run along and play and in a little while after I have read the sports page I will tell you a story.  But you don't get rid of little Johnny that way and the little boy persisted saying, "Daddy, tell me a story now."  Dad looked down at Johnny wondering what he could do to shake him off for just a little while.  Looking down he got an idea.  There on the table was a magazine with the picture of the world on the front cover.  He tore the cover up into about 16 pieces.  He handed it to Johnny and said let's play a game.  You take these pieces and go in the other room and get the tape and you put this world together and when you have put it together properly then I will tell you a story.  Johnny accepted the challenge and off he ran and dad felt very pleased with himself and settled in to read the sports page.  But only a moment had passed and there was Johnny tugging at his pant leg again.  Daddy said Johnny I have put it together.  Dad looked down and saw the 16 pieces put in their proper place together.   He felt that he had a genius in the household.  He turned to the little boy and asked, "John my boy how did you do it?"  Well Johnny said, It wasn't too hard dad turn the world over. His dad turned the cover of the magazine over and there on the other side was a picture of a home.  Johnny said, "I just put the home together and the world took care of itself."

When we put our homes together, the world will largely take care of itself.  Fathers we maybe the head of the home.  Mothers you are the heart of the home and the heart of the home is where the pulse of the home is.  I would trust with all of my heart that you recognize your significant position in the home.  

Sister Johnson loved this story and thought it was a good place to begin this lesson so that as we thought of this we would keep this in mind.  That each of us is here for a particular reason at this time.  

She then told of how she thought that putting our homes together is what President Oaks was talking about in this lesson.  You can access President Oak's talk here.  She talked of how President Oaks talk was broken up into three sections.  

She had the sisters break into groups to discuss the first section that President Oaks talked about.  They were to discuss amongst themselves these two questions.  How do the modern trends work against the Father's plan?  and What can we do personally or as a Relief Society to abort these trends?  

So the Sisters took time to discuss this and these are some of the thoughts that were given:

Sister Johnson started by saying that it is sometimes scary to think about the trends of the world right now.  

• One of the first things that one of the sisters noted was that many are now delaying having children.  She then talked about Elder Rasband's talk where he told his children to go ahead and have children now.  He gave good counsel in his talk.  We have to have faith.
• Another sister talked about how it is choices.  How as sisters we can teach our children what is right, but it is their choice to make.  So her thought was that we need to share with our children and grandchildren how important family is and share with them the joy that they bring and then hope that they make the right choice.
• A sister shared how her mother had a hard time having children and so only had two.  But those two daughters had 12 children between them.  Their mother would often ask them "Do you know what your doing to yourselves?"  meaning that they were up for a lot of parenting and work.  This sister talked about how when her mother was older how it was her children that helped her take care of their grandmother and what a blessing they were.  At the beginning of the lesson it says that children are a precious part of our lives and this sister shared how hers truly were and how we need to instill this in our own children.
• One sister said that when the world does creep in and it does, she said what we have to do is just love.  When things don't go as we think they should, we need to keep letting the Lord's love work through us and life will keep going and things will change.  Love is very important.  
• A sister remarked that as church members we need to remember to not be so judgmental.  If someone doesn't have the children that you think they should, you shouldn't remark because you don't know what is going on in their lives.  Perhaps they can't have children or have a hard time getting children.  We as sisters need to be the loving support for others. It isn't our job to judge it is just to love.

We skipped the second section and moved to the third section.  

Sister Johnson talked about how we all have young women in our lives and she asked, "How can we encourage the young women we know to follow the counsel given in Section 3 of this talk?"  

The first section is about parents.  The second section is about Women and the third is about young women.  President Oaks said the young women, "Here I could give you counsel on many different things, but I have chosen to speak of only two."  He then gave them counsel about the use of cell phones and also about being kind.  

Sister Johnson then had the sisters get into their groups again and discuss how we can encourage the young women.  Here are some of the thoughts that were given:

• Be an example.  Whatever we are doing, they want to do it also.  So be a good example.
• One sister commented that often we use cell phones as a way to entertain our children with them to keep them quiet and how perhaps we need to use books instead.  
• A sister commented that she recently saw an artists rendition of what cellphones are doing to us.  It showed adults with their cell phones out and not paying attention to the children that were around them and the children were trying to get their attention.  It showed also couples sitting on a couch and both were on their cell phones and not talking.  We need to make others know that they are more important in our relationships.
• One sister talked about how they have a policy of open electronics in their home and how as parents we can and should be checking what our children are looking at.  This sister looked at what one of her daughters had been following on Instagram.  There she was following one of the prominent Hollywood starlets and this woman was showing and saying things that went against the Proclamation to the World and the things that the Prophet has said.  This sister pointed this out to her daughter and her daughter stopped following this person.  It is good to help our children see what is right and what isn't when using social media. 
• One sister commented how they have done research that shows that children shouldn't even have screen time until they are two or older because of the damage it does to their brains.  Then she told of how she struggles with depression. She got rid of Facebook and the comparison mentality and now she is doing so much better.  But she commented on how when our children are using social media and phones so young, how much damage it can be doing to them mentally.  She said, we hear so much of depression and suicide in our youth, perhaps this is part of the problem.
• A sister commented about the second part of the counsel President Oaks gave about being kind.  She said that it goes hand-in-hand with the cell phones.  Her nieces have had problems with cyber bullying.  Because it is really easy for someone to say mean things when they aren't having face-to-face interactions with others.  

Sister Johnson then commented on how there is no right or wrong, but that as parents we need to decide what is best for our families.  We need to pray about it and do what we are prompted to do.  We need to take care of our own stewardship.  What works for one family might not work for another.  

A sister commented on how we need to search out the positive and teach our children how to maneuver  and navigate through the social media in their lives and search out those things that are good.  It is a part of most of our lives now and we need to know how to filter what is good and what is not. 

Sister Johnson then asked, How do we help our young women to be kind?  Because we aren't always around them.  

• One sister commented on how we need to watch what we say when we are around them.  Whether it is when we are around others or just with them by ourselves.  We need to be positive about ourselves as well as others.  Do not gossip.
• A sister said that we also need to correct them if we see them do something that isn't nice.  Whether it is due to immaturity or because they didn't know better, or just to call them on poor behavior.  It is our charge to help them to learn to be nice.  
• President Uchdortf talked about ~ being selfless and how those little acts make a huge difference sometimes.  Just a smile or a hug can really be a huge deal to others sometimes.  They might be having a horrible day, but just by showing that small act of kindness might make their day.  

Sister Johnson then handed out a paper to each sister.  On it was the following:

We Need Women Who:

• Understand that being a mother is their highest priority, their ultimate joy.
• Make sacred covenants and keep them.
• Can speak with the power and authority of God.
• Know how to make important things happen by their faith.
• Are courageous defenders of morality and families in a sin-sick world.
• Are devoted to shepherding God's children along the covenant path toward exaltation.
• Know how to receive personal revelation.
• Understand the power and peace of the temple endowment.
• Know how to call upon the powers of heaven to protect and strengthen children and families.
• Teach fearlessly.

Then she asked that as we read through these things that President Nelson said that we write names of women we know that these remind us of.  

Secondly she asked us to put a heart next to each one that we think that we are.

Thirdly put a star next to the ones that we want to become.

She said that it is important that we be this kind of woman.  That we improve in the little ways that we can.  See our strengths and capitalize on these strengths, because we are doing these things.  Then go and teach the youth and the families around us how to do these things also.  As we embrace this Heavenly Father will help us be the women that we need to be so that we can make a difference in this world.

This was a beautiful lesson and we appreciate Sister Johnson and the time she put into this lesson.     

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