President Monson said he recalled an account of a little boy that came up to his father. His father had just come home from work and was tired. The little boy said, "Daddy, tell me a story" as he tugged on his fathers pant leg. But you know and I know that we sometimes tell little Johnny as this father did; Johnny you run along and play and in a little while after I have read the sports page I will tell you a story. But you don't get rid of little Johnny that way and the little boy persisted saying, "Daddy, tell me a story now." Dad looked down at Johnny wondering what he could do to shake him off for just a little while. Looking down he got an idea. There on the table was a magazine with the picture of the world on the front cover. He tore the cover up into about 16 pieces. He handed it to Johnny and said let's play a game. You take these pieces and go in the other room and get the tape and you put this world together and when you have put it together properly then I will tell you a story. Johnny accepted the challenge and off he ran and dad felt very pleased with himself and settled in to read the sports page. But only a moment had passed and there was Johnny tugging at his pant leg again. Daddy said Johnny I have put it together. Dad looked down and saw the 16 pieces put in their proper place together. He felt that he had a genius in the household. He turned to the little boy and asked, "John my boy how did you do it?" Well Johnny said, It wasn't too hard dad turn the world over. His dad turned the cover of the magazine over and there on the other side was a picture of a home. Johnny said, "I just put the home together and the world took care of itself."
When we put our homes together, the world will largely take care of itself. Fathers we maybe the head of the home. Mothers you are the heart of the home and the heart of the home is where the pulse of the home is. I would trust with all of my heart that you recognize your significant position in the home.
Sister Johnson loved this story and thought it was a good place to begin this lesson so that as we thought of this we would keep this in mind. That each of us is here for a particular reason at this time.
She then told of how she thought that putting our homes together is what President Oaks was talking about in this lesson. You can access President Oak's talk here. She talked of how President Oaks talk was broken up into three sections.
She had the sisters break into groups to discuss the first section that President Oaks talked about. They were to discuss amongst themselves these two questions. How do the modern trends work against the Father's plan? and What can we do personally or as a Relief Society to abort these trends?
So the Sisters took time to discuss this and these are some of the thoughts that were given:
- One of the first things that one of the sisters noted was that many are now delaying having children. She then talked about Elder Rasband's talk where he told his children to go ahead and have children now. He gave good counsel in his talk. We have to have faith.
- Another sister talked about how it is choices. How as sisters we can teach our children what is right, but it is their choice to make. So her thought was that we need to share with our children and grandchildren how important family is and share with them the joy that they bring and then hope that they make the right choice.
- A sister shared how her mother had a hard time having children and so only had two. But those two daughters had 12 children between them. Their mother would often ask them "Do you know what your doing to yourselves?" meaning that they were up for a lot of parenting and work. This sister talked about how when her mother was older how it was her children that helped her take care of their grandmother and what a blessing they were. At the beginning of the lesson it says that children are a precious part of our lives and this sister shared how hers truly were and how we need to instill this in our own children.
- One sister said that when the world does creep in and it does, she said what we have to do is just love. When things don't go as we think they should, we need to keep letting the Lord's love work through us and life will keep going and things will change. Love is very important.
- A sister remarked that as church members we need to remember to not be so judgmental. If someone doesn't have the children that you think they should, you shouldn't remark because you don't know what is going on in their lives. Perhaps they can't have children or have a hard time getting children. We as sisters need to be the loving support for others. It isn't our job to judge it is just to love.
We skipped the second section and moved to the third section.
Sister Johnson talked about how we all have young women in our lives and she asked, "How can we encourage the young women we know to follow the counsel given in Section 3 of this talk?"
The first section is about parents. The second section is about Women and the third is about young women. President Oaks said the young women, "Here I could give you counsel on many different things, but I have chosen to speak of only two." He then gave them counsel about the use of cell phones and also about being kind.
Sister Johnson then had the sisters get into their groups again and discuss how we can encourage the young women. Here are some of the thoughts that were given:
- Be an example. Whatever we are doing, they want to do it also. So be a good example.
- One sister commented that often we use cell phones as a way to entertain our children with them to keep them quiet and how perhaps we need to use books instead.
- A sister commented that she recently saw an artists rendition of what cellphones are doing to us. It showed adults with their cell phones out and not paying attention to the children that were around them and the children were trying to get their attention. It showed also couples sitting on a couch and both were on their cell phones and not talking. We need to make others know that they are more important in our relationships.
- One sister talked about how they have a policy of open electronics in their home and how as parents we can and should be checking what our children are looking at. This sister looked at what one of her daughters had been following on Instagram. There she was following one of the prominent Hollywood starlets and this woman was showing and saying things that went against the Proclamation to the World and the things that the Prophet has said. This sister pointed this out to her daughter and her daughter stopped following this person. It is good to help our children see what is right and what isn't when using social media.
- One sister commented how they have done research that shows that children shouldn't even have screen time until they are two or older because of the damage it does to their brains. Then she told of how she struggles with depression. She got rid of Facebook and the comparison mentality and now she is doing so much better. But she commented on how when our children are using social media and phones so young, how much damage it can be doing to them mentally. She said, we hear so much of depression and suicide in our youth, perhaps this is part of the problem.
- A sister commented about the second part of the counsel President Oaks gave about being kind. She said that it goes hand-in-hand with the cell phones. Her nieces have had problems with cyber bullying. Because it is really easy for someone to say mean things when they aren't having face-to-face interactions with others.
Sister Johnson then commented on how there is no right or wrong, but that as parents we need to decide what is best for our families. We need to pray about it and do what we are prompted to do. We need to take care of our own stewardship. What works for one family might not work for another.
A sister commented on how we need to search out the positive and teach our children how to maneuver and navigate through the social media in their lives and search out those things that are good. It is a part of most of our lives now and we need to know how to filter what is good and what is not.
Sister Johnson then asked, How do we help our young women to be kind? Because we aren't always around them.
- One sister commented on how we need to watch what we say when we are around them. Whether it is when we are around others or just with them by ourselves. We need to be positive about ourselves as well as others. Do not gossip.
- A sister said that we also need to correct them if we see them do something that isn't nice. Whether it is due to immaturity or because they didn't know better, or just to call them on poor behavior. It is our charge to help them to learn to be nice.
- President Uchdortf talked about ~ being selfless and how those little acts make a huge difference sometimes. Just a smile or a hug can really be a huge deal to others sometimes. They might be having a horrible day, but just by showing that small act of kindness might make their day.
Sister Johnson then handed out a paper to each sister. On it was the following:
We Need Women Who:
- Understand that being a mother is their highest priority, their ultimate joy.
- Make sacred covenants and keep them.
- Can speak with the power and authority of God.
- Know how to make important things happen by their faith.
- Are courageous defenders of morality and families in a sin-sick world.
- Are devoted to shepherding God's children along the covenant path toward exaltation.
- Know how to receive personal revelation.
- Understand the power and peace of the temple endowment.
- Know how to call upon the powers of heaven to protect and strengthen children and families.
- Teach fearlessly.
Then she asked that as we read through these things that President Nelson said that we write names of women we know that these remind us of.
Secondly she asked us to put a heart next to each one that we think that we are.
Thirdly put a star next to the ones that we want to become.
She said that it is important that we be this kind of woman. That we improve in the little ways that we can. See our strengths and capitalize on these strengths, because we are doing these things. Then go and teach the youth and the families around us how to do these things also. As we embrace this Heavenly Father will help us be the women that we need to be so that we can make a difference in this world.
This was a beautiful lesson and we appreciate Sister Johnson and the time she put into this lesson.
