~ September 4th: Ministering Interviews. Please contact Bonnie Ashby to sign up.
~ September 11th: We will be putting together the Chemo Kits. Please make sure to purchase items and bring them to share as we put these kits together.
~ September 27th is ward Temple Night.
~ October 20th: Super Saturday meeting. Further information is to come regarding what we will be making and doing.
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Today's council meeting was facilitated by Sister Jessica White.
As Sister White began the discussion, she talked of how for the last couple of weeks she has sought what she felt that we needed to discuss. She thought we needed to talk about how to pretect our families from media and pornography. She found a resource here. It is called Staying Safe Online. It is a great resource to begin helping to keep our families safe online. Sister White said that she feels that this in an important issue that many if not all of us need to be prepared for. She feels it because she has children that are growing up and they are going to have to be prepared to be safe online.
The first thing she pointed out that we need to do is BE AWARE. Then she asked, "How can we be more aware of what is going on in our homes?" In the article it gives these suggestions:
Look for signs in yourself and those you love that an unsafe online interaction may be happening, such as: Increasing amounts of time spent alone online, especially at night. Participating in or finding evidence of pornographic images or sexual conversations in the computer’s history. Telephone calls to or from unrecognized phone numbers, often long-distance. Receiving letters or packages from unfamiliar persons or addresses. Tendency to hide digital screens or quickly close apps and websites when others are around. Withdrawing from family and friends. Requests for or sharing personal contact information online.
- Sister Pinborough said that they often want to watch movies with their grandchildren. However, as they started to watch them they were aware that some of the advertisements weren't good. So they decided that they would watch the movies before they watched them with their grandchildren to be aware of possible problems.
- Sister Calee Garn said, "We need to monitor unknown phone numbers that come in. Sometimes they come to our children without our children looking for things. There are predatory type people or websites out there and we need to be aware of them."
- Sister Smith said that sometimes when you have a conversation on the phone or computer, you become connected to predatory type advertising, etc without knowing it. Then you are added to a list that is shared in those communities without having had anything to do with them.
- Sister Ashby said that she has had texts saying, "We know you have been to this website. If you give us a thousand dollars we won't let others know, but if you don't we will." She said it was a website that she had never been to. She also talked about how damaging this might be to children that may have accidentally been to this website.
- Sister Hatton said that she doesn't have children, but she does have younger siblings. She suggested that we make a safe place for them, so that they feel that they can talk about things that might pop up on the internet.
- Sister Clark said that we need to teach our children from the time they are tiny.
- Sister Allen said that their family put their computer in a family area where people are. She also said that they had a rule that at night no phones went to bedrooms. She also said that it is okay to check search histories. And if things keep popping up that are red flags and may make you question where someone has been searching, talk about it.
- Sister Andrea Stringham said that she used to work in a facility that was for young men that had committed sexual offenses. She said that the common denominator with these young men was pornography. She talked about how we need to have open conversations with our children about our bodies. We need to let them know that these feelings are okay and why we have these feelings.
- Sister Garn said that we need to teach our kids that they can come and talk to us. We need to help them understand that they won't get in trouble because something has popped up. Help them feel safe.
- Sister Ashby said that her grandson came home from a friend's house. He told his mom what he had looked at and how he felt. Her daughter called this other mother and asked if she was aware of what her boys had been looking at. The other mother was not aware and by being made aware was able to talk to her sons.
The next thing the article that our discussion was based on said that we need to, CONTROL YOUR SURROUNDINGS & BE ACCOUNTABLE. Sister White thought about this and said that she feels that when our children have uplifting things in their homes and have an understanding of their Heavenly Father and His love for them, that they will have greater ability to handle these things that they are being subjected to. The article that this discussion was based on said, "It is important to recognize things we can control. For example: Allowed trusted individuals access to review web and app history and downloads. Set mutually agreed upon guidelines for where, when, and how the Internet is accessed. Install filters and disable access to potentially harmful apps and programs. Use uplifting pictures, quotes, and reminders as home screens on electronic devices. Avoid clicking on or downloading links or files from untrusted sources"
She then read a quote from Sister Linda S. Revees. It said, "Filters are useful tools, but the greatest filter in the world, the only one that will ultimately work, is the personal internal filter that comes from a deep and abiding testimony of our Heavenly Father’s love and our Savior’s atoning sacrifice for each one of us."
- Sister Katie Hess said that our natural reaction is to protect our children. She said, "would you send them out into a snow storm without protective clothing? Or would you send them to be out in the sunshine all day without protecting their skin? But do we do this each day when we are too busy to have family prayer or scripture study?" She then said that she is afraid that when her children come to her she will freak out. She said that we need to pray to be able to not freak out, because at some point it is going to happen. We need to prepare them (our children). She suggested that we make a plan of action that when it does happen they will know what to do when they see it.
- Sister Hatton said that when she and her siblings were young her mother taught them that when they were angry or something was bothering them that they could think of a hymn. She wondered if this isn't something that might help our children. That when they are exposed to something like porn to help them get the image out of their minds, think of a hymn.
- Sister Calee Garn said that we need to make sure that our children know when sex is appropriate and not be afraid to talk to them about it.
- Sister Peterson told of how when she was in the Young Women's as a leader, they gave each of the young women a picture of their Savior to hang in their lockers. She told of how this helped them begin their day. She said that she and her husband have a photo of Jesus next to their computer. She said it helps you not want to look for inappropriate things.
The last point of our discussion was Develop internal defenses. The article said, "Some examples of how we can do this are: Talk regularly and openly about potential online dangers. Develop a plan for responding to dangerous or inappropriate material. Increase understanding of and desire to use uplifting websites and apps. Continue frequent and regular activities in the home and online that invite the Spirit. We may never completely avoid the threats now inherent to Internet use, but we can do our best. And every effort, however small, may make all the difference! Decide for yourself and discuss with your family which of the suggestions above may be helpful for you."
- Sister Clark said, "Use appropriate names and language for body parts. Let your children know they are loved and that they are never too far into pornography to be able to repent and be forgiven."
Some of the sisters in the Relief Society room commented on how they wished they knew more about technology and how to be more aware so that they could protect their children better. It was suggested that perhaps at a later date we could have some training from others in our area that have experience with the technology protection side of this.
As time was short our discussion was ended. However, I feel that even though it was a topic that some don't like to talk about this was a very uplifting discussion and I really appreciated everyone that participated. I feel that we can never be too protective of our children with what they are faced with in today's world.
There were a couple of different resources that were discussed as being helpful for families.
- The first was a presentation given at the middle school each year by "Fight the New Drug". This is held in February. You can also see their posts on Facebook for more information.
- The second is The Utah Coalition Against Pornography conference that is in Salt Lake City. It will be held February 23, 2019 in the Salt Palace Convention Center.
